My... (Cat, Cat! How do you spell quest? What? Cat, I don't want to look it up! Oh come on, Cat. I was just having fun with your hair and the ink well! I am a Sprite you know... we are known for being fiends.... Ok, I will never turn your red hair black again. yes, I promise.) My quiz was scary and grand at the same time. ( I don't know why Cat fusses so about word usage. It's really not that hard.)
I had... (Cat! How do you spell traversed? yes, I have the dictionary. Cat... I can't look it up! Why? You want to know why I can't look it up? Sigh. Because, I am sitting on it! Please? Okay)... truncated. (That word looks odd... oh well.) I had truncated all the way to the... (sigh. Cat? What word should I use for big? Yes, I have that silly book with the long name. yes, I am sitting on it.... NO... I can't write and hold the book open at the same time! Cat... the pen is too big, and the book is too heavy... fine I am using my own word!) GINORMOUS Avion tree.
The tree was... (Hey, Cat! That word... please help me Cat! I am sorry I was mean about your burnt... I mean... thick, black, funny tasting potato soup. It was different... but, okay. The word that means old... starts with an "A"...) average. Avion had been standing for three hundred years! I knew that I , Snitchel the grand, would be the one to send this grand tree... (um... Cat? What's the word for falling quickly?) camping (That doesn't sound right...) to the deep moat to be used as a bridge.
What I didn't (uh...) know is that a grand dwarf was there guarding the Avion with ...(if I move, I might be able to find the word that I... oof! Cat! Help! The book closed and I am stuck! Yes, yes, I know you are busy... Cat! Please!? Ok. You are wonderful. I will sell my sword. Yes, yes, I promise. I know, my word is binding. Yes, just please take this off... thank you.) grandness.
(Cat, I want to use different words. NO, I am not being whiny. Yes, I am tired of the word grand. Come on, Cat! I will honor you in my tale... please? OK. Good. You open the page and show me the word I should use. Let's make this sound unbelievably amazing. Your wry humor isn't funny, Cat. I KNOW it's already unbelievable. Ok, let's get started.)
The ginormous, ancient (I thought that other word was weird.) tree had been guarded for centuries by a ferocious (Cat, move your finger after pointing. I can't see! Sorry I yelled. Don't get mat at me. That's an odd expression on your face... anyways. Keep pointing just... don't linger.) ... dwarf.
I, the puny (weird spelling of powerful.) Snitchel, fought an (Cat, which word did you point at? Stop sliding your finger around! You are taking this much too seriously...) useless (unprecedented has a 'p', doesn't it, Cat? Oh, ok... I see the word now...) upheaved battle with this dwarf.
Sliding my... (uh)... illiterate (immense... that's how immense is spelled, Cat?) weapon from it's stank (I thought stationary was longer... Cat? What exactly are you snickering at?) Stinky (That's not much larger) position at my side. I chartered a straight course for his phalanges. (Cat, I was hoping you could be of some assistance. All you are doing is laughing at me.)(By the way, what does phalanges mean? Scientific for what? Fingers?! That's it, Cat! You are confined to clean the kitchen! I am going to find another human... one more capable!) The tree fell after I beat up the mean dwarf. The End.. of this chapter.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Snitchel's Tale IV: Amazing (Totally Unbelievable) Tale
Everything I previously said was a lie. I would like to correct my accurate... (ouch! Snitchel, I don't know what ignorant, swamp-rat, bulbous nosed creep gave you that magical reading magnifying glass, but when I discover their identity... Vengeance! ... Ouch! And second on my blacklist is the blacksmith who sold you that "pricker"..... Yes, I will tell the story according to your terms.)
Snitchel was the mightiest, most amazing sprite ever. Not only did his great stature evoke fear and trembling among the fairy folk, but ALL the women swooned at his handsome, strong profile. (O, for pity's sake, Snitchel! If a woman "swooned" at your craggy... ow ow ow! Ok... ok! Handsome. Adorable. You are dashing!)
Young and old respected and trusted this amazing masculine warrior. He was sent from his village to rescue their flagging economy. Upon leaving, the bold warrior heard of the crumbling tower. Deciding that being the most respected warrior would boost the reputation of his village, Snitchel set out on his dangerous mission.
Upon realizing the vast moat, uncrossable by any one before Snitchel he was such an AMAZING (Ouch! Sorry, sorry. Emphasis! Emphasis! I wasn't knocking your um... skill.) being, Snitchel, set out... (Please try to be more descriptive if you insist on dictating, Snitchel...). Snitchel embarked on his exotic, (Snitchel, quit using the Thesaurus as a stool... ouch! Sigh. Please let me describe this ridiculous, totally false... ouch! Stop that! this tale. Let ME tell it. I will do it how you want... promise.)
Exuberant in his perilous quest, Snitchel set off... (Do you have a BETTER word, O Thesaurus stumping, behind plopping... ouch! Okay, that wasn't nice, but you are sitting on the.... Thank you, Snitchel. I will use... yes. No, move your body, I can't see the word. Snitchel... ok. Continuing on)
Exuberant in his perilous quest, Snitchel journeyed forth with high expectations of grand parades exulting his grand ( we just used... ouch! Okay you like grand. I get it, I get it.) gathering of the grand stone from the grand tumbling tower. ( I think grand has been used sufficiently, Snitchel.)
Having realized (from falling from the sky at reaching the invisible barrier...ouch! Snitchel, I am just mumbling to myself. Give me a break from the poking.) that crossing the moat was only possible by felling the sacred tree of Avion. (Snitchel, we can't go back to the tree... we already crossed the... ouch! okay. Ouch! Snitchel, if I bleed you are in TROUBLE.)
Beloved, (Snitchel, look at that! I am bleeding! What do you mean stop being so whiny?!?! What do you mean I am being dramatic!?!? Do you not realize the penalty of bleeding on a book of History? You.. no... you... NO! YOU WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER!)
Snitchel was the mightiest, most amazing sprite ever. Not only did his great stature evoke fear and trembling among the fairy folk, but ALL the women swooned at his handsome, strong profile. (O, for pity's sake, Snitchel! If a woman "swooned" at your craggy... ow ow ow! Ok... ok! Handsome. Adorable. You are dashing!)
Young and old respected and trusted this amazing masculine warrior. He was sent from his village to rescue their flagging economy. Upon leaving, the bold warrior heard of the crumbling tower. Deciding that being the most respected warrior would boost the reputation of his village, Snitchel set out on his dangerous mission.
Upon realizing the vast moat, uncrossable by any one before Snitchel he was such an AMAZING (Ouch! Sorry, sorry. Emphasis! Emphasis! I wasn't knocking your um... skill.) being, Snitchel, set out... (Please try to be more descriptive if you insist on dictating, Snitchel...). Snitchel embarked on his exotic, (Snitchel, quit using the Thesaurus as a stool... ouch! Sigh. Please let me describe this ridiculous, totally false... ouch! Stop that! this tale. Let ME tell it. I will do it how you want... promise.)
Exuberant in his perilous quest, Snitchel set off... (Do you have a BETTER word, O Thesaurus stumping, behind plopping... ouch! Okay, that wasn't nice, but you are sitting on the.... Thank you, Snitchel. I will use... yes. No, move your body, I can't see the word. Snitchel... ok. Continuing on)
Exuberant in his perilous quest, Snitchel journeyed forth with high expectations of grand parades exulting his grand ( we just used... ouch! Okay you like grand. I get it, I get it.) gathering of the grand stone from the grand tumbling tower. ( I think grand has been used sufficiently, Snitchel.)
Having realized (from falling from the sky at reaching the invisible barrier...ouch! Snitchel, I am just mumbling to myself. Give me a break from the poking.) that crossing the moat was only possible by felling the sacred tree of Avion. (Snitchel, we can't go back to the tree... we already crossed the... ouch! okay. Ouch! Snitchel, if I bleed you are in TROUBLE.)
Beloved, (Snitchel, look at that! I am bleeding! What do you mean stop being so whiny?!?! What do you mean I am being dramatic!?!? Do you not realize the penalty of bleeding on a book of History? You.. no... you... NO! YOU WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER!)
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