Everything I previously said was a lie. I would like to correct my accurate... (ouch! Snitchel, I don't know what ignorant, swamp-rat, bulbous nosed creep gave you that magical reading magnifying glass, but when I discover their identity... Vengeance! ... Ouch! And second on my blacklist is the blacksmith who sold you that "pricker"..... Yes, I will tell the story according to your terms.)
Snitchel was the mightiest, most amazing sprite ever. Not only did his great stature evoke fear and trembling among the fairy folk, but ALL the women swooned at his handsome, strong profile. (O, for pity's sake, Snitchel! If a woman "swooned" at your craggy... ow ow ow! Ok... ok! Handsome. Adorable. You are dashing!)
Young and old respected and trusted this amazing masculine warrior. He was sent from his village to rescue their flagging economy. Upon leaving, the bold warrior heard of the crumbling tower. Deciding that being the most respected warrior would boost the reputation of his village, Snitchel set out on his dangerous mission.
Upon realizing the vast moat, uncrossable by any one before Snitchel he was such an AMAZING (Ouch! Sorry, sorry. Emphasis! Emphasis! I wasn't knocking your um... skill.) being, Snitchel, set out... (Please try to be more descriptive if you insist on dictating, Snitchel...). Snitchel embarked on his exotic, (Snitchel, quit using the Thesaurus as a stool... ouch! Sigh. Please let me describe this ridiculous, totally false... ouch! Stop that! this tale. Let ME tell it. I will do it how you want... promise.)
Exuberant in his perilous quest, Snitchel set off... (Do you have a BETTER word, O Thesaurus stumping, behind plopping... ouch! Okay, that wasn't nice, but you are sitting on the.... Thank you, Snitchel. I will use... yes. No, move your body, I can't see the word. Snitchel... ok. Continuing on)
Exuberant in his perilous quest, Snitchel journeyed forth with high expectations of grand parades exulting his grand ( we just used... ouch! Okay you like grand. I get it, I get it.) gathering of the grand stone from the grand tumbling tower. ( I think grand has been used sufficiently, Snitchel.)
Having realized (from falling from the sky at reaching the invisible barrier...ouch! Snitchel, I am just mumbling to myself. Give me a break from the poking.) that crossing the moat was only possible by felling the sacred tree of Avion. (Snitchel, we can't go back to the tree... we already crossed the... ouch! okay. Ouch! Snitchel, if I bleed you are in TROUBLE.)
Beloved, (Snitchel, look at that! I am bleeding! What do you mean stop being so whiny?!?! What do you mean I am being dramatic!?!? Do you not realize the penalty of bleeding on a book of History? You.. no... you... NO! YOU WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER!)
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